Off-Target and Forever Ugly

I haven’t posted on here in a while!  I guess I’ve been so busy with graduating, interning, and doing other things that I’m…I don’t know…happy about, I haven’t had the time to focus my cynical energy on the world around me.  Fortunately a recent shopping trip had renewed my contempt for all things retail.

First up is a piece of jewelry from Forever 21. 

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There must have been an unexpected surplus of red and pink velour at the useless item factory

Want a tacky pillow? Then come on down to Five Below, where you can also find ugly hair things, enough candy to give you a cavity just by looking at it, DVDs that no one wants, and random shit that the dump turned away!

A great way to let your guests know that not only are you super chill and “go with the flow,” you also have a love of dice/gambling problem/no taste.

“Do not keep out! Enter.” Am I reading this correctly?

Uh…no it is not! And with this pillow you are one step closer!*



*To having a problem

ALERT: Plastic Public Nudity

You know the recession is bad when a store can’t even afford to spare a shirt to cover their damn mannequin. Once allowed to stand proudly with her hands on her hips (aka the signature “sassy anorexic” pose) this mannequin, due to  preventable nudity, has been forced to cover her oily grayish-brown chest in shame.

The “head-free” aspect of this mannequin really bothers me….I mean if we are going to go through the trouble of carving a belly button and abdominal muscles into this plastic monstrosity is it really too much to ask for a head? Or at least a neck that doesn’t bear resemblance to a giraffe/wayward tree branch?