Muffins go straight to the old muffin top…Am I right, ladies?!

Like…that is just so rude of Food Lion to be calling me fat.  Get rid of the logo you’ve had since the eighties and then come at me with insults.


Target Portrait Studios are giving babies bad body image!!

Please click on the photo for improved eyebrow definition.


Remember when you were a baby and you had those amazing eyebrows that only Michelle Obama’s could rival?  And a face so expressive it could give strangers chills?  Remember when your elbows were strong enough to hold up your floppy, not-yet-muscularly-developed head and neck?

Also his butt looks big.

This book will make you wanna skate like its 1988

Go ahead and throw all your in-line skating books away – the information has finally been consolidated.


“Joyner is a skate evangelist, in every sense of the word.”

Fired from his desk job, Steve quickly realized he had better just get passionate about something...and now wasn’t the time to be choosy!

“After his first book, The Joy of Walking, Steve Joyner realized he wasn’t “getting there” fast enough, so he took up in-line skating.”

Steve mastered walking but quickly grew bored! He began to look for a more challenging method of locomotion.  Crab-walking helped him “get there” (if you know what we mean….heh heh) but wasn’t challenging enough.  In-line skating was the next obvious choice.

“Joyner covers all aspects of the sport with infectious enthusiasm and in complete and careful detail.”

Steve’s eagerness will infect you like a disease you’d rather not tell your family about.

Summer 2010: a retrospective journey

When I think back to this past summer in New York and how desperately I wanted to finish my internship and get back home I feel the biggest sense of relief that I’m not there anymore. Like literally this feeling of contentment washes over me and I bask in it for a second. So.  It’s really confusing when I visit and I feel like I can’t wait to live there again. But I try to remember that my ten week stay in the city:

1) Was without air conditioning.

2) Happened during a summer heat wave that felt like a free trip to hell.

3) Included an internship that was cool and sometimes interesting but still rather monotonous and made me realize that I absolutely can not sit at a desk all day (unless they want to pay me to be on Facebook and YouTube).

4) Included fellow interns at the internship who were  some of the most grating personalities I have ever come in contact with.

a) If you announce at the end of every lunch that you want a sundae/chocolate/raspberries covered in whip cream/the other half of my sandwich then its time to start eating more than a salad. Chase some of those cravings why don’t ya (except get your own damn sandwich).

b) “I like hummus but I hate chickpeas. Isn’t that weird?” ← not interesting at all. Do not say stuff like that.

5) Had me enjoying a mandatory meal plan that forced me to eat nothing but Dunkin Donuts on the weekends.

6) Included 3 out of 4 roommates that were either never there (2) or psychotic/whiney (1) – I can’t decide which trait I hated more SIKE IT WAS THE WHINING.

7) Was without any of my friends or family there for more than three days. Lonely. And that it just a testament to how awesome they all are.


I am sure that I want to live in New York again. I think as long as at least one of these things isn’t true the second time around it will go much better.

His name was Ned the Knight

In middle school I thought our mascot was incredibly lame.




Nice to know that even back then I had a good head on my shoulders.

A love of basketball knows no beard length





Bad math

When I was young I would ask my father, pretty much on a weekly basis, what was “the highest number that scientists had discovered.” Each time my father would explain as patiently as possible that this was not exactly how things worked in the mathematical community.

But that didn’t stop me from wondering, even these days.  I want. to. know. the smallest and biggest things in the universe.

I hate the concept of infinity.