Another entry from my sixth grade diary (with footnotes!)

Here is another entry from the diary I kept when I was eleven, with footnotes of my commentary today.  If you’d like, you can read an earlier entry from my diary to get some context, although this will probably only make you proud of what a cool 6th grader you were.  Ugh…oh my god, like, whatever!

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The result of the inordinate amount of trust I have in the Skittles brand

Here’s something new to try if you’re bored with regular candy that just sits in your mouth and tastes good!

Let me start by saying that I love candy and I don’t mean that I just “indulge” in a craving every now and then. I eat what most (my mother) would consider an  “immature” amount of candy, varieties of which are primarily marketed to 8 year olds.

But this stuff (I will not call it “candy” and tarnish candy’s good name) was sick. It’s basically a Skittle covered in a crushed Alka Seltzer tab, causing the candy to fizz once it hits your tongue. Except its not the pleasant, light crackle of Pop Rocks. It’s more of an “Oh-my-God-I-am-FOAMING-AT-THE-MOUTH” type feeling, reminiscent of rabies and/or a salivary gland disorder.

Once you get past the uncontrollable drool, I’ll admit that the taste of the Skittle they hid under all the baking soda is fine.  Just be sure to savor the metallic aftertaste the fizzing sodium bicarbonate produces.

NO I DID NOT EAT THE WHOLE BAG ANYWAY.

Except yes I did.