You see a lot of strange things living on a college campus. But the one thing that’s left me confused since freshman year is seeing someone running at night. And I”m not talking about the exercise, I’m talking about the locomotion. (By the way, typing that word just reminded me of elementary school gym when we had a unit on locomotion and we practiced different examples like the gallop, the skip, and the walk. I mean how dumb were we back then that we had to practice walking? …Anyway!) Because while I do find it strange to see people exercising late at night, whats more confusing is when I see someone running at night, clad in what is clearly non-athletic apparel. And that type of “runner” is what comprises most of the items on this list of…
Reasons Why People Run at Night
1) They are an exercise freak.
If you keep up a running regiment that is awesome! I salute your commitment to fitness. But, and while I understand busy schedules, wanting to run at the end of the day, waiting until the air is cooler during the summer etc, if you run after midnight I think something is wrong with you. I mean aren’t you scared of the dark? I am! But really you are just making me feel lazy and bad about myself and I don’t like it.
2) They are playing tag or any other “fun” game meant for elementary aged children. (Humans vs. Zombies people I am looking at you.)
While I find this reason for running a little strange I always give the person the benefit of the doubt and assume that whatever electronics they own must have just broken. Also they must be in a fight or something with their “normal” friends so they’re ignoring them for the time being but soon they’ll probably forgive them and resume their friendship and go back to doing more age-appropriate fun activities at night like watching TV. Or playing Gin Rummy.
3) They are running from the cops.
A rare reason, yes. But probably the only one I truly understand the reasoning behind.
And the final reason people run at night, the reason that I always assume to be true mainly because I live in the bubble of my college world where people rarely have their priorities in order and all logical reasoning pretty much goes out the window:
4) They are late to a party with a limited amount of beer.
If the runner in question isn’t intentionally exercising, playing a friendly game or being chased by the cops then I honestly can think of no other motivation but free alcohol. This is college after all.*
*Mom, you know I hate exercising so believe me when I say I have never run at night…or during the day…or anytime at all until I turned 21.
ACTION SHOT. COOL.
FACIAL HAIR. UNRULY.
I didn’t know that Outtakes sold large samples of severely dehydrated urine Apple Juice.