On my work as a “Background Artist” / “Intrusive stranger standing behind actual subject of photo”

I was waiting for the subway about a month ago when I heard a woman approach the girl standing next to me on the platform. She gently tapped the girl’s shoulder and said “Excuse me, I’m a blogger for Shy People Fashion and I just love what you’re wearing. Could I take a picture for the blog?” The girl laughed a little and said it would be fine.

After pouting for about two seconds that I hadn’t received such an enthusiastic compliment on my ensemble (Jeans, boots, scarf, striped shirt -> yeah, I quickly saw why I was ignored) I realized that this girl next to me was going to end up on a Subway Platform Style Street Style blog. I also realized that I would never be on one of those, unless I acted quickly.

As the blogger got ready to take the photo, I leaned forward a bit, as though suddenly immensely interested in the internet that was refusing to connect on my phone. I was determined to be in the photo.

And I was:

Me on a streetstyle blog

YA’LL, I’M ON A STREETSTYLE BLOG!
Check out the original post on Shy People Fashion.

Background of streetstyle photo

And you know what really gets me? I almost wore that exact same outfit!! Only then I realized that my “feather printed red zip up” needed to be washed and my “vintage leather boots that have a great ‘worn in’ look” had dog poop on them. That’s why I had to just throw on jeans and a t-shirt.

The rush I experienced from seeing my face out of focus on a small fashion blog reminded me of another insignificant media appearance I’ve made. Back in 2007, I spent a day as a background artist on The Wire, as a “debate team member.” I keep meaning to watch The Wire but I’ve never gotten around to it so I still don’t know the context, although I’m sure that this high school debate was about the least important thing on the episode, unless there was a drug bust in the auditorium and I somehow missed it. Anyway, all I know is that Mayor/Governor Carcetti tries to shake Howard Colvin’s hand and Colvin totally leaves him hanging (this all took place after the debate, in the school parking lot). I walk by them (celebrating my very successful debate win, I decided at the time) and, in a flash of blurry purple, give the audience a momentary break from the drama.

Me on The Wire 1

DRAMA!

Me on The Wire 2

Now relax, and just stare at my Old Navy button down.

Me on The Wire 3

BREAK’S OVER

If you ever get a chance to work as a background artist, I highly recommend it, especially if you can do it with a group of friends. It can be a little boring, but it’s cool to see how a TV show is filmed, and if you’re with friends it makes the boring parts bearable. If you ever get asked to be on Street Style blog, cherish the experience! And also please call me because I’d like to position myself in the background of your photo.

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Karl Lagerfeld fills in as Adele’s nutritionist

After months of silence, Karl Lagerfeld has finally shared his opinion on Adele’s physique.  That’s right, turn the google alert off, here it is:

“The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.”

– Karl Lagerfeld, to Metro

So there you have it. Lagerfeld, the head designer and creative director for Chanel, thinks Adele is “a little too fat.”  Unfortunately we have no way of knowing what sort of weight loss plan Lagerfeld would recommend for Adele (note to self: set new Google Alert), as during the interview he preferred instead to share his opinions on racism in soccer, the ugliness of Russian men, and the walking bag of collagen that is Lana del Rey. (Full disclosure: I like her music, and that was an incredibly easy joke to make. I’d like to apologize to Ms. del Rey and anyone with a sense of humor.)

Well isn’t this just the pot calling the kettle something that no one care’s about the pot’s opinion on!  But one thing is true: Adele has to come to grips with the fact that she will never be able to fit into some of Lagerfield’s designs. Just look at what she’s missing out on:

Tri-Tiered Pantaloons

The “Sexy Asphalt” look

And finally, the classic “Street Urchin covered in moss and wearing a butterfly wing visor” look.