Another entry from my sixth grade diary (with footnotes!)Posted: May 14, 2011
Here is another entry from the diary I kept when I was eleven, with footnotes of my commentary today. If you’d like, you can read an earlier entry from my diary to get some context, although this will probably only make you proud of what a cool 6th grader you were. Ugh…oh my god, like, whatever!
Some background to this entry: We used to go to big Christmas parties where there would be a Yankee Swap gift exchange (aka “Chinese Gift Exchange,” “White Elephant,” or “Dirty Santa” <—actually a little uncomfortable with the name of that last one) that I always went into with unrealistically high expectations.
Some more background: I’m a dumb 6th grader.
15 more days until X-mas! I’m SOOOOO excited! We went to an X-mas party today. That was not so much fun. I ended up getting a lump of coal (literally) while Abbey got a box of chocolates and Mom got 4 HUGE candyies! (Mike &Ikes, Hershey’s bar, Milk Duds, and Dots.) I was really jealous! But, I think that I’m going to give Abbey the lump of coal for X-mas!
 The math on that checks out.
 Why this parenthesis was necessary, I’ll never understand (literally).
 The severity of the situation set me back a couple years grammatically. First priority: obtain candy. Second priority: pluralize word correctly.
 I know it sounds petty, but imagine it from the point of view of a candy-obsessed 11 year old. I genuinely thought there was some sort of anti-candy conspiracy against me.
 And that, my friends, is turning lemons into lemonade.