I figured out what’s going on with Jason Mraz’s hairPosted: April 25, 2012
Jason Mraz’s latest album came out last week.
My review: Good!
This is what Jason’s hair looks like now.
My review: Wtf? Not good!
What happened to the guy that used to look like this:
I think I’ve figured it out. This new hair is an important step for Jason. He’s transitioning. Like Britney, he’s “not a girl, not yet a woman.”
Or something like that, just stay with me. A lot of pop stars, both male and female, burst out of the 18+ gate, shoving their sexuality in our faces like they’re afraid that if they didn’t we’d just assume they lacked genitals. Britney Spears, Xtina, and Miley Cyrus danced their way through this stage. With the boys is happens a bit later, as their “handlers” no doubt encourage them to maintain a squeaky clean image to appease the strongest part of their fan base: twelve year-old girls.
But when the male pop star reaches around age twenty… the slimy songs begin.
Case in point: Justin Timberlake.
Sample lyrics: “He doesn’t love ya/ I can tell by his charm/ But you could feel this real love/ if you just lay in my arms” (Yeah, I just BET she could feel your “love” if she laid in your arms. Ew, Justin.)
Mr. Bieber, though only a naif 18, is already singing about “Chillin by the fire” and “eatin’ fondue” (which his mom no doubt heated up in the microwave, but still). His slimy songs will be here soon. No word though on whether his mother will continue to prepare snacks for him and his dates.
Back to Jason Mraz: he skipped all this! He sailed onto the music scene in his mid-twenties. He was gentle, smiley, and short-haired. Unassuming. Safe. A very talented singer. Jason just rode the coattails of his talent, never once bothering to titilate us or make mothers cover their children’s eyes. It was all very un-American.
And so in order to avoid forever being the same old boring, short haired, cute, normal-seeming, very talented singer, Jason had to make a splash sometime. His hair is that splash.
…very possibly literally, depending on how much grease that mop can’t help but hold.